At least I tried. That is all I can say.
Let's just say...it's been a while since I've been to a Stake Conference. I know, I'm a heathen. I'm probbably going to burn. But it is what it is. Have you told your kids recently that "NO there's no primary today, just a really long sacrament meeting?" Well...it doesn't go over well. Have you met Cole? I didn't think so.... :) Anywho. Since Ross and Louis are out of town for the weekend (did I mention that Ross always gets an allergic reaction to church buildings at the mention of Stake Conference??) I figured, Kennedy and Cole... I got this! No problem....heh. That's funny!!
Seriously, though. I did get there early. We had a decent seat. It took at least 15 minutes for Cole to start having a "limp fish" moment. He screams and flails and goes completely limp so there is no saving it. It's not pretty. This isn't my first rodeo. I mean, we do Sacrament meeting every week. I had toys, books, coloring books (even the good ones that I usually reserve for Ross), snacks, sippy cups and the "night night" just in case. Yes, folks. I was PREPARED. I was prepared. I was quite enjoying it, Cole was being fairly good and I think I actually heard three GREAT talks. I was emotional, I laughed, I cried, Kennedy asked really loud why I was crying....all the makings of a great meeting.
Then it happened. Cole and I had been in and out once or twice for a heart to heart (me asking really firmly to shut it or lose it!!!). This is very important because, I WAS early and I had a great seat. Just a hop skip and a jump from the door. Strategic move, YES!! On our last time in I was feeling rather flustered. It's hard to work it in 'probably too high sandals' and a flowy dress that seems to catch every little breeze, sneeze and whiff of air and almost send me into a Marilyn Monroe moment. I sat down, a little quickly, now that I look back, and my dress caught a little air and I quickly snagged it and pulled it under as I sat down. Yes, I caught it just in time....just in time to hear RRRIIIPPPPP!!! Yep. I did it. I ripped the side of my dress right in front of oh...about 250 people. I'm sure only the closest 100 actually heard the rip and GASP that followed. Really? Really? This is what I get by trying to go and learn and grow and not beat my two year old.
That was it. I grabbed Cole, in a football hold. (He was still limp fishin' it!!) and we were gone. Kennedy brought up the rear asking all too loudly "WHAT'S WRONG, WHY ARE WE LEAVING??" As I'm gracefully trying hard not to swear. I think that's a no no when you're actually in a church, am I wrong?
Lesson: Flowy dresses are over rated.
Stake Conference again? Maybe when my children are in college. I give up.
My sincere apologies to all of my fellow stake members who saw more than they bargained for :)
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9 comments:
Oh no!!!! Are you going to hate me if I tell you that I'm laughing uproariously right now?
See, that's why you just take a "vacation" when stake conference comes around.
--love it :)
Oh, my! I laughed until I cried! This is hilariously horrifying! I can only imagine how horrible that was but oh you have such a gift at telling the story in such a way that I just couldn't help myself! We haven't been to stake conference since Zack was like 2. I know Ruth thinks we're terrible since we live with her and all and we stay home and veg out on stake conference Sunday but there is NO way I'm taking my 4 kids to stake conference when I want to jump off the nearest cliff after normal sacrament meetings!!! Just consider it your reward for working so hard to fullfill your callings and endure sacrament meetings every other week of the year and enjoy the day!!!
We had Stake Conference today, too. I was there with all 3 of my kids without Mark. They kept asking when it would be over. Does your stake broadcast the conference to TVs in the RS Room and Primary Room?
We always sit in the RS room because
1. The chairs are soft.
2. My kids can be noisier without disturbing most of the congregation.
3. Lots of the kids' friends are also there.
and 4. You can make an early exit if needed without most people noticing. :)
So sorry about the ripped dress.
OH NO!!! ha, ha- sorry, I coudln't help laughing!
You aren't the only one- Our kids went to Stake Conf. for the first time a few weeks ago- and they are 6 and 5! And it was not fun! I think they won't be back for a while. Kydon stays home with them and I go- mostly for a little peace and quiet!
Love you and your stories... always good for a laugh :) !!!
Now I wish I would have gone!!! I would have loved to have seen you having such a great day :)
I'll have to read your post again when Ruby isn't chomping her gum and talking NON STOP in my ear the whole time I was trying to read about your pleasent Stake conf.
Thanks for the heads up. I haven't been to a stake conference since I've had kids. That's 10 years baby. BAD Mormon alert!
Oh I love you... Thank you for daily making me laugh. I appreciate it!
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